Just Do It!

Hello Everyone!

Happy Sunday! I woke up this morning at 8 am, and was lying in bed for about a half an hour, just dicking around on my phone. Then I was like, "Jess. You're never going to reach your goal if you just lie in bed." So I got up and ran! Feeling good today, Sundays always feel like a fresh start, so I'm going to work hard this week and focus on my running. It's feeling more like Fall outside, (yay!) which means it's not as hot. So no excuses!

I ran for about 22 minutes today, had to stop after that, so next time gonna shoot for 30. :) The 10k is in a little over 3 months, so gotta get ON IT!

Hope you all have a wonderful Sunday and a great week!! Until next time!

~Jess

Food.

Hello Everyone!

It has been far too long since I have written in my blog. I have NOT given up on my run, nor will I. However, I have had a rough month when it comes to motivation and diet. I feel like if I get these feelings out there, I can read it and make the changes needed. So here we go.

My entire life, I have struggled with my weight. Literally. Usually when people say this, they mean that they hit puberty, gained weight and have struggled with it ever since. I actually have struggled with it since I can remember. Every Halloween I wanted to be whatever Disney Princess was popular for that year. And the costumes never fit me. When all the kids in 5th grade started shopping at "Limited Two," I tried shopping there and nothing fit me. And when I got to high school, I tried buying my clothes at "Tilly's" like everyone else, and nothing. Looking back on this, I am glad I couldn't shop at those places, because instead I would just buy the clothes I liked and that made me happy. I was nerdy, wearing Winnie the Pooh overalls and Hot Topic clothes, but I love that I did that. It gave me a sense of originality! So, I am not saying I wish I had shopped there and regret what I wore. Not at all...Anyways, I digress.

The point is, that I have NEVER been small. I have always been slightly bigger then your average girl. This is all I have ever known. And I can make jokes, put on the brave face and say that I am 100% fine with it. I can say that I am big boned and have learned to accept it. If I am being completely honest, that would be 60% true. The other 40% of me, absolutely hates it. Despises it, loathes it, with every fiber of my being. Every time I go shopping and that cute top doesn't fit me. Every time I see a woman that has a cute figure. Every time I eat something I know I shouldn't. And every time, that little voice inside my head says, "It's just so unfair." EVERY TIME. 

I have tried a million different diets, I have yo-yo'd from a size 8 to a size 18 over the past 15 years of my life. I have exercised for months, then gone months and even years without. It has caused me more tears, pain, hatred, and heartbreak then anything else that I have ever had to face. I fight it to this very day: My Weight. And now at 28 years old, I know exactly what I would have to do to fix it, and yet I fail every day at it. I eat what I shouldn't. I don't run consistently, like I tell myself I will. I go to Taco Bell, even though my brain is saying, "What the hell are you doing?!" I have come to realize that food is my addiction. And it is what is keeping me from being a healthy, active person.

When you have a problem in your life and you know the solution, you fix the problem right? Your car needs an oil change, you change it. You have a headache, you take some pain killers. So why is it, that we (as a society) can't change what we eat? We can't just say no to the fries and the frozen yogurt? We can't go to the grocery store and only buy veggies, and healthy foods? Because we are addicted. Now I'm not going to go on a rant about the government and the food industry, don't worry. But we all know the truth. We know it! We put bad food in our bodies, that are chemically designed to be addictive. There is no denying it, because it's science. But we keep eating it. I keep eating it. It's comfort food and let's be honest, it's freakin' delicious! I look forward to eating heavy, starch filled meals like pasta or breaded chicken way more then I look forward to eating salad. However, the way I feel after I eat all that stuff is significantly different then the way I feel after I eat veggies and simple pan-seared chicken. This is the fight I endure every day of my life. And I really, really want to change. I have to change. I want to feel healthy, on the inside and the outside. It's just going to be really, REALLY hard. If you have any suggestions, please feel free to tell me! I would love some input or some personal stories on how I can break this vicious cycle. 

This is my plan. To be a better me, to eat better and to live better. This all goes with my journey to be a runner. But before I can be a real runner, I have got to figure out the fuel I am going to eat. 

Thank you for listening to my very long rant guys...If anyone actually stuck around to read the whole thing. I know I have friends and family that understand these feelings..sometimes it's comforting or inspiring to know that there's other people who understand how you feel. :)

Until next time!!
~Jess 

Motivation

Good Evening Everyone!

Gah...this past week has been ROUGH. I have been so busy with work and I went to the D23 Expo last weekend (which was AMAZING) and because of being so busy, I lost a little bit of my drive. It's so hard cuz when I take a day off, I worry that I won't have the motivation to do it the next day. It is very important to take days off, you can't exercise every day because your body needs rest. But I always struggle with mustering up the strength to go run after a day, or even 2 days, off. 

I wish I was one of those people who is just naturally athletic. Who thrives on exercise and protein shakes. I'm just not that person. Don't get me wrong, I love exercise and I really do love running. But it's the internal struggle to make myself do it that I hate. Pep-talking myself into doing it is the hard part, then once I've started I'm set. I just wish I had that natural motivation! But alas, as of right now, I am still a slightly chubby girl who would MUCH rather watch reruns of Friends and eat mashed potatoes. That being said, it's not going to stop me from reaching my goal! And if you can relate to anything I'm saying, don't you give up either! 

I saw a picture online with a quote from Jillian Michaels. For some reason, it really stuck with me. And every time I think that there's no way I will ever be able to do this, or doubt that I will ever get to my goal weight, this quote pops into my head: 

“Today I want you to ask yourself this one question: “Why not you?” Why not you to do something for work that you love? Why not you to have a healthy body? Why not you to have a healthy love? Why not you to be, have or do anything you have ever dreamed? We are so quick to think others deserving over ourselves. The truth is that we are all deserving. So why not YOU?"

Why not me? Why not you? Whether it's your dream job, a healthy body or whatever it is that you truly want, why not you? There's no reason why you can't have it. The only thing standing in your way is you. I know, because I used to stand in my way. Sometimes, I still do. But I am working every day towards my goals and I don't ever want to give up. 

Have a great night and thank you so much for reading!! Until next time. ;)

~Jess

Better, Faster, Stronger.

Hello All!

Soooo today I ran 35 minutes at a steady run, which is a tad faster then a jog. And not gonna lie, it was a little rough haha. But I did it, so that's all that matters! I'm really stoked because my co-worker Sogand has signed up for the Tinker Bell 10K, so she's gonna do it with me! Very exciting. :)  It will definitely be easier then doing it alone!

My sister, Melissa has started to use the Couch 2-5K app now as well, and she is doing a wonderful job! I am so proud of her. The fact that both of us are making strides to live a healthier and more active lifestyle makes me so happy. She and I have always struggled with our weight. One of the glorious gifts we have been given from our family tree. So to see her running alongside me, at her own pace of course, just warms my heart and makes me so happy. :) I couldn't be more proud. 

My Dad texted me today and said that I have inspired him to run and he ran a half mile today!! I was so happy!! My 52 year old Dad, who hasn't run in years, picked up his running shoes and ran today. I am just so proud of him. My hope is that in a few months, Melissa, my Dad and myself will run a 5K together! I think that is totally do-able. And it would make me happy beyond words. Now to just get Tony (my boyfriend) to start running too!! Haha ;)

Well, that's all for today. Thanks for reading, until next time!!

~Jess :)

Faith, Trust...and a Little Bit of Pixie Dust!

Hello There!! 

So I have never had a blog before (unless you count "Open Diary" in High School... Good Lord. What a mess that was haha.) But I've decided that I want to start one to document my journey from now, until my very first 6.2 mile run in the Tinker Bell 10K! The race is January 18, 2014. 5 months from now, so I have absolutely no excuse not to be able to do it. Although I am sure along the way I will come up with several excuses to sit on my ass instead of run... but I will keep going. :)

I can't believe I am even going to be able to be in the race. I had no idea how I was going to be able to afford it, since lately money has been so tight for us. But my wonderful friend Alisa posted on Facebook asking people to make $10 donations for me to be able to register, and so many of my friends donated!! I couldn't believe it. I was stunned, no one has ever done something like that for me. I felt truly blessed and grateful that I have such amazing people in my life who want to see me succeed! That's another reason I decided to start his blog. I felt like so many people offered to spend their hard-earned money to help me participate in the race, that I absolutely cannot let them down. This blog is a way for me to keep up the momentum and hold me accountable. So on the days when I REALLY feel like watching reruns of Big Bang Theory for the 4 billionth time, I will think of how I have to run. I have to. Not just for me, but to show my friends and family that I won't give up. Ever. 

I ran my first 5K on the 4th of July and I have never felt so accomplished. I started training for it 3 months prior and all of that hard work paid off ten-fold. Crossing that finish line is like nothing I have ever done before! But I don't want to stop there, doing this 10K is the next step in my life-long journey of better health and fitness. I have never found any other type of exercise that I love more then running. There is something about it. It's liberating, therapeutic and it makes you feel like you can do anything. Sometimes in life, you just need to run. To clear your head, to make you feel like there is something out there worth running towards. Whether it be a finish line, weight loss, positivity, or just because your legs are screaming at you that they need to move. There's always something worth running for. What am I running for? That's a hard question to answer. The obvious answer is weight-loss. But it's more then that. It's a feeling, a need, a desire. To be better. To be stronger. To feel like even though there are things in my life that have happened to me that I have no control over, that this I can control. I can push myself to go farther and be faster. And to finish something I started. That is what I run for. And I am sure along my journey, there will be so many other reasons to run. 

This is my journey to Neverland. The place where dreams come true, where anything is possible. Where you don't have to grow up, and where you can fly. Where if you can dream it up, it is reality. I am making my dream of being a healthier, stronger human being a reality. I hope you will continue this journey with me! 

Thank you so much for reading!!
~Jess :)